Spiritual Intrusion : Nightly Disturbances : 9/8/2020

 

   I experienced some intense intrusions last night as I was in bed trying to sleep. I experience these intrusions practically every night. However, some nights get a little more intense than others. It's September now and in my opinion I think I've been feeling a bit of a chill in the air at night. However, overall, it can still get a bit warm in my apartment these days. We're technically still in summer after all. So when I went to bed last night, I had my air conditioner going. In fact, I remember getting out of bed a couple times to adjust the temperature setting. I find that I can fall asleep a little easier if the temperature is on the cooler side. Well, of course this creates a steady background noise in my small apartment. As I have written about it many times, it's the kind of steady background noise that seems to amplify the voices of these entity attachments. This has always been the case going back to the very beginning of my situation in 2015.

   Back then it was much worse than it is today. Pretty much the whole world sounded different to me back then.  Through any everyday ordinary sound that was relatively steady, I’d hear these menacing voices coming over quite loud and clear. It was bad back then, really bad. For a while, I didn't even feel comfortable taking a shower because the voices were coming through so strong over the sound of the running water. Whenever I was driving in my car, I would hear the voices coming through the sound of the engine. Or, if I had my windows down, they would sound very strong coming in over the sound of the rushing air. It was all very disturbing and very surreal back then. It's not quite so bad these days. I don't hear these voices coming in over as many ordinary background noises as I once did. But, it does still happen. It is still a regularly occurring phenomenon for me.

  The sound of the air conditioner in my apartment has always amplified these voices. It's one of those sounds where I just know this is going to happen to a greater or less or degree. However, often these days, the voices aren't too strong and it doesn't really cause me too much of a disturbance anymore. However, last night I went to bed, it did. The voices were coming in quite strong over the noise of my air conditioner and they sounded pretty damn menacing. I don't know how many separate voices there were. It might just have been Crystal's voice, it's hard to tell sometimes. The loudest voice that I was hearing, if it was Crystal, she didn't sound at all like how I usually hear her. Again, there may have been a few different voices present, but this one very deep voice seemed to stand out above the others and this particular voice gave me quite an unsettling feeling. I wouldn't quite call it fear, but it's not too far from it, it's just a very unsettling feeling that takes over me. In a way, it's a feeling of being overwhelmed by something that I'm experiencing. It doesn't happen as often as it used to, but it does still happen from time to time.

   There wasn't much I could do last night. I suppose I could have gotten out of bed and shut off the air conditioner. But, I very rarely allow the voices to bring me to do that these days. If I feel that I absolutely have to, then I will. But, I don't like being compelled to do something because of the presence of these voices like that. As I said, I could feel a bit of a chill in the air last night but, I felt if I shut off my air conditioner I might end up waking up in the middle of the night in a sweat. I felt more comfortable running it, so I didn't shut it off even though there were these strange and bizarre voices coming in over the noise. I just stayed there in bed and dealt with it.

  These menacing sounding voices subsided eventually when I started to drift off into that in between zone of being half awake and half asleep. But then, as often happens when I'm in that in between zone, I got hit with another round of intense intrusion. I was just about to drift off into a state of sleep when I began feeling a rather strange and intense sensation on my lower back as well as on the back of my neck. It's hard to describe, as these strange sensations often are, but I was feeling something latched on to my lower back which was accompanied by this bizarre pinching sensation. The sensation that I was feeling on the back of my neck wasn't quite as intense as the one I was feeling on my back, but it was certainly noticeable to me. It was something of a strange tapping feeling, like something was literally tapping on the back of my neck. As this was occurring, I was hearing Crystal’s voice speaking in a rather clear tone. This was unmistakably Crystal's voice. She sounded like she most often does when I hear her voice. Her voice even had that high pitch quality to it that I often notice when she is speaking to me. I've mentioned this before many times in my journals. Generally, Crystal's voice sounds very human I would say. She sounds like a young woman, not a child but a young woman perhaps in her late teens or in her 20s. However, when she speaks it's often in this higher pitch that makes her voice seem a bit different than a regular human voice would sound.

  Well, I was hearing her voice loud and clear last night. I don't remember exactly what she was saying, and I often tend to forget it very quickly unless it's something that really grabs my attention. I do remember thinking or wondering if I was experiencing the presence of two separate entities because I was feeling this very intense and distinct sensation on my lower back, but also one on the back of my neck simultaneously. I think Crystal was responding to these thoughts, but I don't remember exactly what she said. In the past, when I've experienced these different and distinct sensations occurring at different parts of my body simultaneously, I thought the same thing. If I'm feeling two separate sensations sometimes I would think, well there's two entities present here probably, or if it was three separate and distinct sensations, I might wonder if there were three separate entities present. A few times, I distinctly remember Crystal responding to these thoughts and she said something along the lines of “there is only Crystal here but I'm spreading my energy” or something like that.

  As this was occurring last night, to the best of my recollection, I was only hearing her voice. And since the very beginning of my attachment situation, I have experienced these bodily sensations in a number of ways. Sometimes, they feel rather small, other times they feel larger. I do believe that Crystal can materialize to a greater or lesser extent into the physical realm. Perhaps certain conditions have to be just right, or perhaps it's just a question of whether she feels like materializing more or not. I just don't know.

   Crystal was hitting me with all of this just as I was about to drift off into sleep and it certainly fouled things up. I got out of bed, checked the time, and saw that an hour and a half had passed since I had first gotten into bed. I went into my bathroom and took another dose of sleep-aid, then I went out on my back deck and smoked a cigarette. When I came back inside I immediately got back into bed to make another try for sleep. That extra dose of sleep-aid must have worked pretty good, because it seemed like I fell into a deep sleep rather quickly from there.

   So, once again Crystal fouled up my sleep to some degree. I will say though, she didn't bring me to a point of anger. In fact, when I got out of bed and I was outside smoking a cigarette, I remember I was actually a bit surprised with myself that I was feeling so calm about the situation. This has been something that I've been striving to achieve for some time….. not letting Crystal bring me to the point of anger. After all, that's what she wants, that's her goal. If I let her succeed in this, then she wins. Well, last night she didn't succeed in this. I dealt with the situation and I remained calm. Hopefully I'll continue to be able to remain calm the next time, and I certainly know that there will be a next time.