Hearing a Voice in the Middle of the Night : A Strange Incident

 

 This is just a rundown or an update to what's been happening with me in my life concerning my situation. By this I mean this entity attachment situation that I've been dealing with since 2015. I'll probably ramble on about some other stuff too, why not? Anyway I guess I'll start with “the other stuff”. I've still been pretty busy at work lately. It's starting to quiet down to some degree, but compared to other years, I'm busier now than I usually would be in a regular year. But, certainly this is not a regular year. I'm referring here to the pandemic situation. It has affected many people’s lives in a number of different ways. For myself, earlier in the year, I wasn't certain that I would be able to stay working. At that time there were a lot of measures and restrictions in place. At the very least, I thought it was going to be a very slow year as far as my work situation goes. It was for a short time, but then quite the opposite occurred.

 

  Basically I became overwhelmed with work. This began to occur when many of the restrictions were lifted. I'm not complaining, well maybe I am a little. Of course it's a good thing that I was able to keep working throughout the year, but in truth I'm feeling very tired, very exhausted. I'm looking forward to the arrival of Winter, which typically tends to quiet things down a bit. I could really use some downtime. Being as busy as it was this year, it did have something of a positive effect in regards to my situation of hearing voices and experiencing the other strange phenomenon that I experience. To no small degree, it pushed these intrusions into the background so to speak. Hearing the voices, experiencing the bodily sensations at night, dealing with the surveillance of my thoughts, the dream intrusions, all of these things have had less of an impact upon my life this year compared to the previous years since my situation began back in 2015. This is a good thing, no doubt.

 

   I am feeling a bit burnt out, but I can honestly say that I have been less affected this year by the presence of these voices than I have been in the past. However, this may be a double-edged sword in a way. I do feel that this situation with the voices is contributing to the feeling of exhaustion that I am experiencing these days. At the very least, I do feel that it is adding to it to some degree. Some of this may be because this situation with the voices is still a very real disruption of my normal sleep routine. I should say, in truth I haven't had a very good sleep routine since before 2015. As soon as I get into bed at night, that's when I'm the most vulnerable. That's when the voices seem to come in real close and that's when the sensations mostly occur.

  However, the presence of these voices has not caused me to lose an entire night of sleep in well over a year now. I may lose an hour of sleep or so occasionally, but I think that the overall battle for sleep that I have been enduring these past few years hasn't quite been so bad this year (compared to the previous years since 2015).

 

 I suppose, since I'm coming home from work feeling a bit more exhausted at times, I'm more likely to fall asleep faster regardless of the presence of these voices or the bodily sensations. I also must add, that it is still the case that I am mainly hearing just one voice now on a regular basis. I say mainly, because this is not entirely the case. I hear one particular voice still on a day by day basis. But, I do have incidents every now and again where other voices seem to show up on the scene. However, these other voices do not stick around. I can tell the difference, because this main voice that I hear every day is a voice, a very distinct voice that is well known to me by now. It's a female sounding voice, in fact this voice tells me that her name is Crystal.

 

 This voice has not always gone by the name Crystal, but I would say that this is the second…. going on third year that I've been hearing this voice identify itself by this name. Crystal has always been the main voice, since pretty much the very early days. She has been the voice that has been the most present, the most intrusive, and at times the most abusive throughout this whole situation. I began hearing Crystal’s voice, even before I was hearing voices, I guess you could say.

 

 I first heard her voice in late January or early February of 2015. This was the time that I was experimenting with EVP recording. This led to a series of events that brought about this condition of hearing voices and experiencing other strange phenomenon. So, I first heard Crystal’s voice on my EVP recordings, though she wasn't using that name at the time. However, the voice was the same, the exact same.

 

  Crystal's voice is unmistakable to me. It's a young woman's voice, not a child's voice, but a young woman's voice that typically tends to have a higher pitch to it than a regular human voice would. On that matter, yes I would say that her voice generally sounds like a human voice. However, I will not state that I am certain that she is of human origin in anyway. Far from it, that's the big mystery and there's so much about her mannerisms that convey to me a sense of there being something very different about her. But, that is a whole other topic onto itself.

 

 Anyway, getting back to the present. Aside from my situation at work, I am still experiencing strange incidents every now and again. Or more accurately, incidents that stand out from the general strangeness of it all. One night this past week, I awoke quite suddenly. I'm not sure what time it was, but it must have been rather early. It was still very dark outside. When I awoke I immediately heard something strange. In fact, I would say that it was this something that caused me to awaken so suddenly in the middle of the night like this. This something was in fact a voice.

 

 At first I didn't realize this because my mind was still a bit groggy and in a haze from waking up so suddenly, but the haze quickly cleared and I recognized that I was hearing a voice. This in itself is nothing out of the ordinary for me. I hear voices all the time. I hear the female sounding voice that calls herself Crystal every day to one degrees or another. So, I wasn't exactly surprised by simply hearing the voice in the middle of the night. I've experienced this more times than I can count.

 

  What was a bit different here was how the voice sounded. Let me just say right now that it was Crystal's voice that I was hearing during this incident. It took me a moment or two to recognize it, but I did recognize it as being this female sounding voice that I hear every day that identifies herself by the name Crystal. This is the same voice that has been what I called “the main voice” throughout this whole experience….. the main voice in that Crystal has always been the most present, the most outspoken and in fact the most intrusive voice of them all.  As I stated previously, I first heard Crystal’s voice even before I had developed this condition of hearing voices, or in this case, what I sometimes term “hijacked clairaudience’.

 

  Getting back to what occurred the other night,…. yes, I recognized after a few moments that this voice that I was hearing was in fact Crystal's voice. However, on this occasion I was not hearing her voice in the manner (or I should say …in one of the manners that I usually hear her voice). Her voice is very recognizable to me…as I said. Other voices have come and gone but Crystal's voice has been here every single day. This is not to say that I am hearing her voice all day… every day. That was somewhat true for a time in the beginning.  But, these days I can go a stretch perhaps a few hours where I don't hear her voice at all because I'm distracted or have my attention so focused on something else well enough that I'm just not perceiving her presence.

 

 Her voice… how it sounds… it's very recognizable to me to say the least. I may hear her voice differently on different occasions, but I can still recognize it as being her voice. What I mean by this is sometimes I might hear her voice and it seems stronger, or at other times it might seem fainter. Sometimes when I'm in an environment where there’s a source of steady background noise present (such as in a room with a fan that is running or an air conditioner), her voice can often seem stronger to me….it often seems to have more volume to it.  When I am in an environment that is quiet, where in there is no background noise present, her voice can often seem much fainter. I have heard Crystals voice speak in a very whispering manner and I have heard Crystal’s voice shouting on occasion. But, more often than not, I can still recognize it as her voice.

 

 During this incident that occurred a few nights ago, even though I knew it was her voice, it sounded different. It is not easy to describe, but I will make an attempt at it. Her voice seemed to be originating at my right ear….not near, but at my right ear. It was almost as if she were on my earlobe or such, and speaking directly into my ear canal. Generally her voice sounded faint here I would say. Yet, at the same time it had a distinct sharpness to it that was quite pronounced. It had a very high pitch sharpness to it, almost like a high pitch ringing, but it was not a high pitch ringing… it was a voice, but it was something like a high-pitched ringing (is the best that I can describe it here).

 

    In fact this was not the first occasion where I have heard this high-pitched ringing-like tone that was actually a voice. I have had maybe half a dozen such incidents within the past year. These incidents have all occurred at night, or in the very early hours of the morning while I'm still in bed. I believe that during the first two or three incidents, I didn't recognize it…I didn't pick up the voice within this very high pitch ringing-like sound. The last couple of incidents prior to this most recent one, I did recognize it as a voice, but not as Crystal's voice. What was different here was that I did recognize it as Crystal's voice.

 

  So to sum it up, it was as if Crystal had shrunk herself into this tiny little state and was sitting on my right earlobe and talking down into my ear canal. It was both strange and surreal in its own way. It reminded me of something that I have written about in previous journal entries and that I have sometimes called “the Tunnel Effect”.

 

  This tunnel effect that I have previously written about is a particular way that I have heard some of these voices going back to the very early days. It's basically where I'll hear a voice and it sounds like it's speaking through a tunnel or a tube or something along those lines. What is strange about it is that it sounds like the voice is both very near and yet distant at the same time. The voice may sound as if it's originating from a fixed point in my immediate vicinity such as (for example) say 4 feet from the left side of my bed and 5 feet from the floor. This will be where the voice seems to be originating in my immediate vicinity, but the way the voice sounds… it sounds like it's speaking from an even further distance than this. In essence, it sounds like it's speaking through a tunnel and I'm hearing it from one end of the tunnel.  

 

  Just reflecting upon this for a moment here, I realize that in my journals where I've described my experiences, there have been a few of these different effects that I have described regarding how I sometimes hear the voices or how I have heard them in the past. I have written about what I and some others that I know have often called “the Stadium Effect”.

 

  The Stadium Effect is basically just that, it seems like we're hearing a stadium full of voices….voices all speaking directly to us.  I only experienced this a small number of times and these incidents were all in the beginning of April 2015, during what I have often referred to as “my two weeks of hell”. This is when my situation changed from being where I was having intermittent incidents of hearing voices to where I was hearing them on a constant basis. I first began having these instances of hijacked clairaudience where I was hearing voices outside of my EVP recordings by late February 2015. After the first few incidents, I stopped doing recording sessions.  Yet, I continue to have more and more incidents of hearing these voices.  This is the start of when Crystal emerged as the main voice. This was mainly in March of 2015.

 

 Things were escalating by the day back then, yet between these incidents of hearing the voices, I still had the sense of them being gone in between incidents. For example, I might wake up in the morning and it seemed like there was a group of voices speaking to me right there in my bedroom. Then I would get out of bed and get dressed and go to work and things seemed essentially normal for a short time. I was still feeling a lot of anxiety and apprehension about what I was experiencing, but I may at least have gotten a few hours where I didn't hear any voices at all.

 

  That month was the time of ever escalation.  When April rolled around, the situation changed and what I have often called “the Voices Blitzkrieg” began. This is when the voices started to come at me continuously, nonstop around the clock. The first two weeks of this were particularly nightmarish for me. It was essentially a massive attack by these voices that knocked me on my ass. I was so stricken with dread and anxiety at this time, that I could barely bring myself to eat and I was hardly getting any sleep for a span of two weeks.

 This was my two weeks of Hell. It only subsided when I went to a doctor and they prescribed Ambien to help me sleep. It didn't make the voices go away and it didn't take away all of the anxiety. But, at least it allowed me to get more sleep than I had been getting during that two week stretch and this at least allowed some physical strength to return to my body, because during those two weeks, I very much began to feel extremely weak and exhausted…both mentally and physically.  Certainly this was due in large part to not being able to eat much or sleep much at all.

 

When I was able to finally sleep better, the intensity of the voices onslaught subsided. If it hadn't, I do not know how I would have managed to go on. This is why I stress so much in my writing the need to try and maintain as much of a good sleep routine as possible when faced with a situation like this. I only have to look back and remember my two weeks of Hell to be reminded of what can happen if these voices caused me to lose major amounts of sleep.

 

-October 24, 2020