Spiritual Intrusion : The Feeling of Exhaustion
I awoke just before noon today. It was
Sunday, my day off from work. The feeling of exhaustion had been wearing on me
all week. Things have still been quite busy at work, and Crystal seems to be
trying harder these days to derail my sleep routine. I know that I must sound
like a broken record, going on about this aspect of spiritual intrusion so
much, but I can’t stress it enough. These attaching entities have an advantage
over us. They do not need to sleep (at least from what I observe), where we do.
As soon as I get into bed each night, the
battle for sleep begins. Despite the hundred or even thousands of times that I have
pleaded with Crystal to show at least some small measure of consideration and
allow me to fall asleep in peace, she has never budged much on this. Crystal’s
voice and sometimes other voices continue to chatter away, moment after moment.
On some nights, the strength of the voices
may seem weaker, yet the effect can be the same……the loss of sleep. Unfortunately,
it is all too common a thing for me to measure how I faired through a night by
the amount of sleep that I lose. If I only lost an hour of sleep, well then I consider
that night as being not all that bad. This past week, on some nights, I lost an
hour, on some nights…..two. It can begin to add up and I’ll start to feel the
effect upon my mind and body by the end of the week. By the end of this week, I
was feeling quite exhausted. I’m lucky that I didn’t sleep through most of the
day today.
In the past, I would often deal with this
exhaustion (brought about by the presence of these entities), by resting for a
bit as soon as I got home from work. It was my hope that I would only rest for
about an hour or so. I knew that it wouldn’t be much, but at least it was something.
Some days after I got home from work, I felt compelled to do this. I simply
couldn’t keep my eyes open. However, what would often happen is that I would
get into bed only intending to rest for a short while and the next thing I knew,
I was waking up at two or three in the morning. Sure, I felt rested then. Yet,
my sleep routine was now all out of sync.
I haven’t been resting much right after work
this year. I take whatever Crystal throws at me on any given night, and deal
with it on a day by day basis. I try and stick to my sleep routine. She manages
to keep me awake an hour to two here and there. I don’t rest after work the
next day. A gradual feeling of exhaustion beings to surface. Its effect is
often realized on Sunday (my day off from work), when I may or may not sleep
though half the day.
So, here it is now, another Sunday night. Perhaps
I should feel rested, but I can’t say that I do. About twenty minutes ago, I took
two doses of sleep-aid. I’m here waiting for it to kick in a little. I detect
Crystal’s presence. I hear the sound of her chattering in the background. It’s
fairly faint at the moment. But, when I get into bed, it’s likely to become
more noticeable. It is then that she often gets “close in” and I’ll begin hearing
her voice as if she were right next to me.
-August, 2020
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