The Intruding Presence : Hearing Voices & Entity Attachment : Part 2

 

December 19, 2020

 

   Today was a strange day. It was the first day of my 18 day break from work. I look forward to this break all year long. All year long I’m thinking about what I’m going to do on this break. Today I did absolutely nothing. I didn’t plan it out this way, it was completely unexpected. I woke up early enough. I did some reading in the morning. Just when I thought I was about to go out and do something, I found that heavy feeling of fatigue over took me and I went to go lay down in my bed for a while. This happened to me at least three times over the course of the day. When I got out of bed on the last one, it was already dark outside. I guess overall, I was just feeling pretty exhausted. 2020 has been a pretty rough year for me and for a lot of people. Hopefully, I’ll be able to find more motivation tomorrow.

 

  Each time that I got into bed today, I was feeling the presence of the entity attachment, the one that calls herself Crystal. As soon as I opened my eyes this morning, I knew she was there. I could hear her voice faintly, but more than that, there was a distinct physical presence moving on my chest. I felt the same exact physical sensation every time that I got into bed over the course of the day. I don’t even know where to begin in describing it. It starts off with this slight weight pressing down on me. Sometimes, it’s most noticeable on my chest or on my stomach. And I think to myself, there is the main body. But then, I feel something slightly jabbing me on one of my legs or on one of my shoulders. It’s there, you better believe it’s there, the presence is very profound. In a way, it seems very nimble, almost like a cat, yet this is no cat. So each time, it seemed like I was feeling the main body, or the main part of the body on my chest area but  then I also became feeling these strange “extensions” on other parts of my body.

 

   Right away, Crystal picked up on my thoughts about this, my confusion and wondering. I heard her say “those are my antennas”. At one point in the afternoon, I heard her say “I have a lot of antennas”. Once again, she picked up on my thoughts about this and I heard her say something like “I have 16 antennas”. I have no way to confirm any of this of course. Crystal is notorious for making contradictory statements. So I’m not going to assume that she’s telling me the truth here. All I know is that, every time I got into bed today, the physical presence was exactly the same. Something would land on my chest, I would feel the weight of it pressing down on me, yet there were these other parts to it so to speak, that I could feel on other parts of my body. I thought at one point that she might look like some kind of spider and I’m feeling her legs, but she immediately made a comment saying this was wrong. She kept insisting that I was feeling her antenna.

 

  So there it is, some seriously high strangeness on the first day of my vacation. I know that this all sounds very strange, but it’s the truth, the strange truth. I don’t claim to understand it, I don’t claim to know who or what Crystal is or whether or not she actually does have antennas. I just know that she’s real. I should also mention, that the characteristics of the physical sensations that I experience can change at times, It is by no means always consistent.

 

  One of the most frequent that I experience is this vibration sensation localized to one part of my body or moving around my body. I was experiencing this for a little bit this afternoon while I was in bed. I was also experiencing sensations coming up through the mattress of my bed. That’s a very common one as well. I’ll feel jabs and pinches, and something akin to these small little hands grabbing at me up through the mattress. I’ve been experiencing this one since the very early days, since March 2015 as I recall.

 

  During the last of my rest sessions this afternoon, I had a rather strange dream. It seems like I’m already forgetting the details of it with each passing minute. It wasn’t a bad dream, just a strange dream. I heard Crystal’s voice making comments about it as soon as I awoke, once again giving me the impression that she can perceive my dreams as I’m experiencing them. Yet, I don’t think that this was a dream that she manipulated or even created. After dealing with her for this long, I believe I’ve gotten much better at picking up on the difference between a regular/normal dream and a dream that she has fabricated. To me, it seemed like I went a long stretch of time with having nothing but dreams that she was manipulating. It seemed like they were the only dreams that I was having for quite a long time. However, whatever else 2020 was in other areas, I have observed that it was the year for me when I began having regular dreams again. As I stated, there are differences and I believe that I can recognize them much better now.

 

   For one thing, the dreams that I suspect are being created by Crystal or one of her mysterious compadres…they are typically something dark and negative in nature. In other words, they are bad dreams…..nightmares. I’m usually being attacked in them, either directly or as in an implied threat such as someone or something is chasing me through some eerie or shadowy location. These dreams tend to happen soon after the time that I fall into a sleep state. Sometimes it seems like I’m only half asleep when I start having them. I have observed that when I have my normal/regular dreams, they tend to happen after I’ve been asleep for a while…usually a few hours.

 

  The strange dream that I had this afternoon, it occurred after I had been asleep for at least two hours. The dreams that I believe are manipulated by these entities, they seem to occur much more quickly, sometimes within just a matter of moments from I when cross into that state of being “mostly asleep”. I can usually tell the difference, even without checking the time. I know when I’ve been asleep for a few hours and when I’ve been asleep just a few brief moments.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

December 20, 2020

 

 I had a regular dream last night. By this I mean, just a regular normal dream that I do not believe was manipulated or created or tampered with in anyway by this entity attachment Crystal. It seems to me, I’m starting to have regular dreams quite often again. As I was saying yesterday, it seemed like for quite a long time after the situation started in 2015, I was just having these dreams that I suspect were being manipulated by these entities. But, this past year has been a year when I’ve started having regular dreams again….or at least being aware that I’ve having them.

 

   About this dream that I had last night, I just recall some impressions about it. It wasn’t a bad dream. It wasn’t a disturbing dream or anything like that. The details are already quickly fading away from me. I remember just a few images from it. I remember that there were a few people in the dream that within the context of the dream itself seemed very familiar to me. It seemed like I knew them quite well. Yet, when I awoke from the dream and I thought about these individuals, their faces, I realized that I had no idea who they were….no idea at all.

 

  The dream actually occurred in the early morning hours. I am not exactly sure about the time. I just know that when I awoke from the dream, I could tell that I had been asleep for quite some time. It was still dark outside when I woke up from it and I managed to fall back asleep again for a little while.  When I awoke again, the sun was up and the sky was bright. Once again, here is something that I observe as being a major difference between what I consider my regular dreams and dreams that I suspect are being manipulated by these entities. The dream occurred after I had been asleep for quite a while.

 

  It wasn’t a bad dream, but I did wake up suddenly from it. As soon as I awoke, I knew right away that I had just had a rather vivid dream and I remember that my first thought was “ok this was just a regular dream, this was not a dream from Crystal”. Right away I heard Crystal’s voice make a comment replying to me. This did not alarm me in the slightest. Whenever I wake up from a dream, Crystal’s voice is most always right there making comments about it. When I heard her voice when I awoke from this particular dream, she was replying to what it was that I was thinking in that moment. My first thought was “this was not a dream from Crystal”.

 

  I don’t recall what she said word for word, but it was something like “we create or we control every dream”. It was something like that. And then she said something like “we teach humans” or “we train humans to live on the astral plane”. I found that to be an interesting statement. I took it to mean that others like her assisted people with transitioning over to existence on in the astral realms after the death of the physical body. I don’t really know what to say about this. The idea of it intrigues me, yet helping others with anything doesn’t seem to fit the bill where Crystal is concerned. If that’s her mission, then what’s this whole attachment/ oppression situation all about? Maybe she was referring to something in a more general sense….something that astral beings on the Earth do, but not necessarily her in particular…at least not these days. I just don’t know.  Crystal is often making these kinds of cryptic statements that get me pondering what they mean. Maybe this is her agenda, to fill my head with confusing notions and ideas. Perhaps not. I don’t know. I’m just reporting what I heard her say in this instance. I’ll try and avoid thinking about it too much.

 

 

 

 

 December 22, 2020

 

 12:30 AM

 

 Well, seeing that I’m on my holiday break, I made a choice earlier this evening to try and make it through the night without any sleep-aid. I figured now is the time to give it a try…to see how it goes. I haven’t been having too much trouble at night recently. Of course, there’s always something strange and disruptive happening….hearing Crystal’s voice chattering away, feeling the physical sensations. Yes, there’s always something. But, things haven’t been too extreme recently. So, I used up all my sleep-aid last night and earlier this evening I decided not to go out and get anymore. I was right there earlier in the day, shopping at the store where I always buy it. But, I didn’t pick any up. I thought everything would be fine.

 

  Everything is not fine. If it were, I wouldn’t be making this rant at twelve-thirty in the morning in late December. I went to bed about an hour ago and almost immediately the physical stuff started right up. There was this weird sensation where it seemed like the bed was starting to shake a little. In a way, it was similar to the familiar vibration sensation that I so often experience, but this was a bit different. It literally felt like Crystal was causing the entire bed to shake to a degree. It wasn’t a whole lot, but it was certainly enough to get my attention and to cause me to feel that old familiar unsettling feeling….that feeling of the reality of all this slapping me in the face once again.

 

  I knew it was her, I could hear her voice and only her voice chattering away ceaselessly. I turned over to lay on my side, but then I felt a presence clinging to my back. There was no mistaking it, there was something right there clinging to me. The whole time this was occurring, I just kept thinking to myself ……“man, I really wish I had some sleep-aid. I can’t believe I was stupid enough to not pick any up when I was out earlier…way to go stupid”. I should have at least picked some up so that I would have it on hand just in case of a bad night….like this night was turning out to be.  There’s no harm in trying to see if I’ll fall asleep easy enough without it. But, without at least having it on hand in case things take a bad turn, I set myself up to fall here, no doubt about it. And the truth is, I should really know better by now.

 

  It seems to me that Crystal is definitely exploiting the situation as she so often does to great effect. It is also very unfortunate because I had some things that I really wanted to do tomorrow. Well, “wanted to do” is not exactly accurate. They mostly involved some side work related stuff, but I had already made promises and I had already put things off for a few days. Tomorrow was going to be the day when I would just bite the bullet and knock this stuff out. But, who knows how I’ll be feeling in the morning now. Who knows if I’ll even get to sleep tonight? Who knows indeed.

 

 

December 22, 2020

 

 

 11:30 AM

 

 Well just as I thought, I’m feeling pretty worn down this morning. Things got worse before they got better last night. I did eventually fall asleep, but I’m not even sure what time it was when it did finally happen. When I got back into bed shortly after I made that last journal entry, I quickly started to slip into the in-between zone. I had another incident where it seemed like Crystal tried to force me into having some strange dream. It was a brief dream, but very vivid. There’s not a whole lot to tell. Basically, it seemed like I was sitting in a chair, something like a dentist chair, and down just passed my feet there was this large metal “apparatus” and these bright flashes of light emanating from it. I think there was also a sound in the background if I remember correctly……something like the sound of an old style flash bulb camera going off repeatedly.

 

Then, I remember looking over to my left and I saw a humanoid form just a few feet away from me. I could tell that it was a woman and that she had dark hair, but I couldn’t make out too many features, she was literally in the shadows. Then I woke up very suddenly, as if something had jolted me.  From there, I again lingered in that state of being half-asleep and half-awake for a while. I remember that I kept getting hit with these sudden jolting sensations going through my body. It was almost like when Crystal hits me with what I call “a shout attack”.  This is a tactic that she was using quite a bit in 2019 and still uses every now and again, where she’ll shout very briefly right in my face or right into one of my ears….or sometimes even in my head. It’s like being punched by a voice. It’s very sudden and brief, but the voice is loud and it also sends a jolt through my body.

 

 What I was experiencing last night was similar in a way, but I don’t think that’s what it was. I wasn’t hearing a voice shouting, but the sudden jolting feeling seemed pretty much the same.  It was all very strange. As I said, I don’t even know what time I finally made it off to sleep. When I woke up this morning, I wasn’t feeling too great. This is just an impression, but this brief dream that I experience last night, I do think that this was a dream from Crystal.

 

  As I’ve been mentioning, it seems like I have been getting back to having regular/normal dreams on a regular basis. By this I mean dreams that are just regular dreams,….dreams that I don’t think are being tampered with by Crystal in anyway. This one last night though, it just gave me the impression that it was not such a normal dream. I’m just throwing this out there as an observation, but it seemed like Crystal was trying to pull me into a dream state before I was fully asleep. This is the second such incident like this to occur recently. It’s hard to describe I realize, because I am literally talking about states of consciousness within the states of consciousness or something like that here. The best way I can describe it is being in bed and almost being asleep, but you’re very aware that you’re not fully asleep yet and then you just have this very vivid dream out of nowhere. It seems to only last a few brief moments and then you suddenly become startled by it and immediately snap back into a state of being fully awake.

 

  I’m not sure if I could even say that you “wake up” from the dream exactly, because it’s really more as if you didn’t even fall asleep to begin with. It does seem to me like Crystal might be becoming more active on the dream front here. So, I’ll try and be observant of these small yet important details. I am convinced that she can tamper with my dreams. To be honest, I think she can outright create them as if she were playing a movie in my mind.

 

  It is yet another example of her powers of intrusion. I have observed something about these attaching entities since this all began for me back in 2015. They may lack the ability to do certain things in our material world, in our dimension…at least to an intense degree on a consistent basis. However, they can become very masterful and crafty at what they are able to do. In other words, they make the most of the abilities they’ve got to work with. Well, I’m not going make the same mistake twice in a row.. I’m going to head out and pick up some sleep-aid for good measure. Of course I want to eventually get myself off the stuff. But, for now I think I should still always have some on hand as a precautionary measure, or else I’ll keep having bad nights like this over and over.

 

 

 

 

 

December 23, 2020

 

 Things were much better last night. Yesterday, I went out and picked up two bottles of sleep-aid. I wasn’t about to risk having another bad night where I couldn’t fall asleep and I was being subjected to hours of aggravating torment at the hands of Crystal. Before I went to bed last night, I took three doses of sleep aid and it seemed to do the trick. I would say that I fell asleep within about twenty minutes. During those twenty minutes, I was still hearing Crystal‘s voice and I felt the physical presence. But it was nothing out of the ordinary and it did not prevent me from dozing off quickly.

 

  One thing I do recall from last night is something that was going through my head as I lay there in bed drifting off towards sleep. I remember that I was feeling the physical presence on the right side of my body. It was mainly just that feeling of there being a presence there clinging to me. I thought to myself,(though in a way this was directed at Crystal) that if only she would wait until I fall asleep to do whatever it is she’s doing here, then I might not have such a problem with all of this. I’ll explain this a bit here.

 

  Before I thought this, I was thinking that Crystal might be leaching energy off me in some way. I thought this because of the nature of this particular sensation, the feeling of something just latched on to my body, just cleaning there. Sometimes these physical sensations seem very much intended to cause me a disturbance, to prevent me from falling asleep easily.       An example of this would be when I feel jabs and pinches coming up through the mattress of my bed. Yet, on other occasions, this physical presence is just there, not really doing much of anything except clinging to me. It does often give me the impression that there’s some type of leaching going on here. Crystal has often told me that she does in fact drain what she calls “astral energy” from me. However, since this is coming from her and I know that her statements cannot be trusted, well there it is… I cannot believe it at face value just because she says it is so.

 

  I’m not ruling out the possibility that sometimes Crystal is telling me something that is the truth. In fact, I think that this is rather likely. The problem is, she tells me so much conflicting and contradictory information, that I wouldn’t recognize a truthful statement from her when I heard it. I know for a fact that she deliberately feeds me disinformation exactly for this reason. She’ll make statements that contradict her previous statements. She keeps flip-flopping her stories, changing them around. So, I can’t be certain that she’s telling me the truth when she’s telling me that she’s draining me of “astral energy” as she says.

 

  I’m just saying that sometimes the sensations do give me the impression that there is in fact something like this going on. Thoughts like this were running through my mind last night in that brief time before I fell into a deep sleep. And as I mentioned, I thought to myself …if Crystal is in fact draining me of energy here, if she just waited until I fell asleep then this would reduce much of the tension between us. Don’t get me wrong, there’s all sorts of problems and flash points of confrontation between myself and Crystal regarding many aspects of this situation. This is an extreme intrusion situation. This entity is literally attached to my life. It’s like she’s kicked down the door to my perceptions and she’s charged right in. She’s tried to set herself up as a kind of dictator over my life. She acts like she has the right to judge me and condemn me.

 

   I have to stop myself here. I can keep rambling on with the long list of our flashpoints, those things we really butt heads about metaphorically speaking. Getting back to last night. So yes, I was just thinking one way to smooth over at least one of these flashpoints would be if she simply waited until I fell into a deep sleep and then started draining energy from me or whatever she does. Of course I still wouldn’t be happy about this in the slightest, however at least she won’t be disturbing me while I’m trying to fall asleep. I don’t mean this to sound as some sort of appeasement, but when you’re in this kind of situation for this long, sometimes these little compromises begin to seem quite appealing.

 

  Aside from her constant chattering, disturbing me when I’m trying to fall asleep has been a terrible aspect of this whole situation for me. Every night it seems like I have to run the gauntlet of whatever she’s throwing at me to make it to the destination I long for, sweet glorious restful sleep. It’s something I have to fight for practically every night. I’ve pleaded with her more times than I could ever hope to count just to back off here, let me fall asleep in peace, I’m a human being it’s a damn physical requirement that I sleep. None of my pleading has ever done a bit of good it seems. Crystal seems completely indifferent to my plight here.

 

  Say that this is true, that when I feel her presence clinging to me like this, she’s leaching astral energy from me as she says. Would it be such a big deal if she just waited a little bit until I fell into a deep sleep before she begins her leaching? Would it be such a major thing to simply let me fall asleep in peace? I don’t think it would be, but it seems like she simply doesn’t care about showing me any kind of consideration like that. Yes, all I sense from her is complete indifference. This is another reason why I sometimes have suspicions that I’m not dealing with a being here that was ever human like me. As I have stated previously, this is very much an open question for me.

 

  Just by outward appearances, much of the time Crystal can seem human enough. Much of the time her voice generally sounds like a human voice. But it’s just these impressions that I get, these impressions I pick up from her mannerisms and the things that she does that really make me wonder about this question. I would think that if I was dealing with a being here that was once a living breathing human being like myself, at least some of the time they would be less and indifferent regarding this matter of my need for sleep. They would really know what I’m talking about here because they to once lived in a physical form and sleep was just as much a requirement for them as it is for me.

 

  Yes, maybe most of the time they would still be cruel about this, but I would think that at least at some point even if it’s very seldom, they would give a little on this because they would be able to relate to what I was talking about. Yet, all I’ve ever picked up from Crystal has been a sense of complete indifference. I just don’t know, …this is just some food for thought here, and again her identity is very much an open question for me.

 

  I know that I’m going to sound like a broken record here, but I just want to reiterate that the constant nature of these intrusions is really something to take into consideration when talking about the dangers of the kinds of activities that can lead to an attachment situation like this. In this case, I’m talking about how Crystal can just keep going with her disturbances and her harassment at night when I’m trying to fall asleep. As far as I can tell, she doesn’t grow tired or fatigued as the night goes on. There isn’t a point where she quits causing me disturbances because she’s tired and worn out. She can keep going and going and going around the clock with her harassment. Whatever her true origins are, there are certainly a lot of differences between her and I. Perhaps Crystal does need to rest at some point, power down, or recharge, I don’t know…. but as far as I can tell, it’s nothing like the seven or eight hours of sleep I need each night to get by.

 

 

 

 

December 24, 2020

 

 

 I had a rough time falling asleep last night. But this time, I don’t think it had anything to do with Crystal. It took me a few hours to get to sleep and I had to get out of bed at one point and take another dose of sleep-aid. Crystal’s harassment was actually pretty minimal. I was hearing her chatter a little bit and there was a little bit of the bodily sensations, but not a whole lot. A couple of times I remember asking myself “what’s going on here, she’s not harassing me”. It was a break from the usual routine, so that was a bit out of the ordinary. I don’t know what it was, maybe I drank too much coffee yesterday or something. But I’m definitely not blaming her.

 

  Well, it’s Christmas Eve tonight. I’m not doing a whole lot. That’s fine, I’m fine with it. Just one thing I want to mention. I’ve been hearing Crystal refer to me as a “hostage” quite a bit over the course of the past few days. I was hearing her use this term quite a bit today in fact. This is nothing new, she refers to me as a hostage and this situation as a hostage situation quite often and she has done this for quite a long time. Last night, when I was hearing her talking, I picked up on that she was talking about some type of “hostage exchange”. Again, I’ve heard her mention this before. I believe that she’s implying that sometimes people like myself who are stricken with this condition can get out of it if some entity (like Crystal I assume) is released from their own captivity or bondage by….here’s where it gets tricky, Crystal often uses the term “the authority”, but I’m not really sure what she means by that.

 

  I guess it breaks down to that there are entities out there roaming the Earth like Crystal and when they see an opportunity to take human beings hostage like this, they seize it. If I understand her correctly, they take these hostages because they want something in exchange from this authority. Now, as I mentioned, I’ve heard Crystal talk about these hostage exchanges before. I guess with this, there would be a whole lot going on behind the scenes, in the spiritual realms or in the astral planes, where I just don’t know who’s negotiating with who. This is an example of the kinds of things that I often hear from Crystal. One of her storylines. Is she just making this up? Is she deceiving me here? I don’t know, I just know that she likes to tell stories and that she’s still here, so if there’s some kind of negotiation going on somewhere regarding my situation, I guess things haven’t been resolved yet.

 

  I suspect that Crystal is just telling me a story with this one, because I believe I see her angle with this. She’s trying to instill some sense of hope in me that she’ll be releasing me as a hostage before too long. If I believe her and I started communicating with her about this, even just through my thoughts, I suspect that she would keep adding more and more onto this story and at some point she would pull the rug out from under my feet. This is the kind of thing that these entities were doing to me back in the beginning, back in the Spring of 2015. They would tell me things, try and offer me hope of getting out of this situation, but then they would turn around and make it all seem like a bad joke. I remember that they would tell me that I had to do this or had to do that, that I had to change my life, start going to church every week and start working with charities or things along those lines.

 

  This is something to note here, because all of these things that they used to mention to me…they’re not bad things, not at all. But, they would try to get me to react to them, they would try to get me to do things, to change my ordinary behavior as a response to the things that they were saying to me. In other words, they seemed to enjoy leading me on wild goose chases that went nowhere. They seem to want to instill some sense of hope in me and then crush it for their own amusement. No, the voices never told me to do anything evil. They tried to make me feel like I was already evil and I had to go out and do all of these good deeds or else they wouldn’t leave me alone. I had to make amends for being so evil (at least in their eyes supposedly). They have a way of making you look inward and reflect upon your own life. They act like they have the authority to judge you, and they want you to believe that they have the authority to judge you and condemn you, or to give you a reprieve even. From my own experience, it was all just ploys and mind games.

 

   Back during the Spring of 2015, I actually heard one of the voices say to me “we lift you up to take you down”. A little over a year later, I met another individual who also started hearing voices after being involved with EVP recording, and she told me she heard a voice say the same thing to her, the exact same thing… “we lift you up to take you down”. So, I’m not going to get my hopes up that Crystal will be leaving anytime soon as part of some hostage exchange. As I said, I’ve heard this one from her before, I’m surprise she is still recycling this old storyline. Yeah, that seems to be something that they do, they’re all about their storylines. I’ve often thought to myself, that if these attaching entities didn’t flip their stories around so much, then my situation might look a lot different, and not in a good way. If they told me some far out story in the beginning and this was the only story that they told me and they stuck with it, maybe I would still be believing it today. I don’t know. What I do know is that within a fairly short amount of time back in 2015, they really essentially of gave themselves away as being serious liars. They just kept coming up with all these stories and one wouldn’t have anything to do with another one. They would often contradict each other. It didn’t take me long to realize that I couldn’t put much value in anything that I heard them say.

 

 

 

 

 

December 26, 2020

 

 

  It’s the day after Christmas here, but I want to talk a little bit about some incidents that occurred on Christmas Eve. Crystal gave me some trouble that night and I remembered that she did the exact same thing last year as well. It took a few hours before I finally fell asleep and I was feeling quite tired on Christmas day. I’m starting to think that she did this intentionally, messing with me a bit more on Christmas Eve in some cruel attempt to ruin my holiday. Like I said, this is two years in a row. I’ll try and recall as much as I can from the other night.

 

  I went to bed probably sometime shortly before midnight. I took a couple of doses of sleep-aid just as a routine measure. I wasn’t expecting any trouble out of the ordinary, though maybe I should have been. As soon as I got into bed, I was hearing Crystal‘s voice chattering away and I began feeling the physical sensations. I remember that I was feeling some jabs and pinches coming up through the mattress hitting me at my lower back. Yet, I was also feeling a presence moving around on my legs as well. For a few moments there, I was thinking to myself just trying to imagine once again what Crystal could possibly look like since I’m feeling these sensations in different places. She picked up on my thoughts as she always does. I heard her voice say “it’s not just Crystal here, there are three entities here”. I was only hearing Crystal‘s voice so I really didn’t know what to make of this statement. Actually it contradicts something that she has often told me in the past.

 

   I have had these same thoughts many times before where I am feeling separate and distinct sensations simultaneously on different parts of my body and I was wondering how many entities were present. I’ve had these thoughts many times, and at one point, I began hearing the same statement from Crystal regarding this. She would often say “there’s just Crystal here, I’m just expanding my energy”. So here I was on Christmas Eve, once again feeling the simultaneous sensations on different parts of my body. Yet here, Crystal was not claiming that it was just her “expanding her energy”, she was saying that there were more entities present. So here’s a good example of what I’ve been talking about as far as Crystal often contradicting herself. She’ll say something that will completely contradict previous statements that she has made. In the end, I don’t know what to believe, so I usually just choose not to believe anything.

 

  Crystal was present that night, of that much I’m sure. But, I’m simply not sure about the rest. The weather outside that night was also a contributing factor in my sleep routine getting all fouled up. It was raining heavily, with extremely strong winds. There’s a big sliding glass door in my bedroom that goes out to the small balcony where I smoke my cigarettes. The rain and the wind were coming down at such an angle that it was hitting the glass in a very direct and noisy manner.  I remember thinking to myself that it seemed like my apartment was a ship being tossed about on the waves during a storm at sea. It was a pretty bad storm and it peaked just at that time, close to midnight when I went to bed.

 

  As I have mentioned many times in my writings, I’m a light sleeper and this I believe is one of the reasons why I have so much trouble at night with Crystal‘s presence and the disturbances she creates.  If there’s any kind of disruptive noise in my immediate environment, then I typically do have a much harder time falling asleep. So that night I had Crystal’s constant chatter and the physical sensations and then also this vicious storm going on outside. The prospect of falling asleep quickly was not looking very good.

 

  So there I was lying in bed, hoping that the sleep-aid would take effect and just knock me out quickly. However, this didn’t happen. What did happen is that a thought popped into my mind, I thought of something I had seen on a social media website that day. I thought about George Washington crossing the Delaware River in 1776. Yes, at some point that day, I was on the internet and I saw an article about it, about the anniversary of it. I admit I’m a history buuf, so it’s not too unusual for me to recollect something that caught my interest while I’m in bed at night waiting to fall asleep. I remember that I was thinking something like “I wonder what George Washington was thinking right now back in 1776”. To no great surprise to me, I heard Crystal make a comment about what I was thinking. I don’t remember what she said exactly. But, for some reason I decided to try a little experiment on Crystal. I asked her how many years it has been since Washington crossed the Delaware.

 

   I remember thinking that here’s a chance for Crystal to really show me how superior she is. Let me just back up for a moment here, she had been going heavy with the she’s a “superior life form” talk all that day. So I wanted to see how fast she could shoot out this answer. Plus, I also figured that it would be further proof that she is a real external sentient being. Very quickly she threw out the number 258 years. To be honest, I didn’t know the answer myself off the top of my head and I’ll be the first to admit that I’m very bad at math. As I said, I’m a history nerd. I got very good grades when I was in school in my history classes, but I had a very difficult time in my math classes. I remember that I had to repeat particular math classes a few times. It was a subject that I was never any good at. So, I wasn’t sure if this number….258, was the right answer or not.

 

    I got up out of bed and I went over to the kitchen counter where I had left my phone. My phone has a calculator feature, so I typed in 2020-1776. The answer was 244. So Crystal was wrong. I was both a little surprised and not surprised that she was wrong. She threw that number out at me extremely fast, so it didn’t seem like she even took a few brief moments to ponder it or crunch the numbers or anything like that. But being given this wrong answer, it made me do a little bit of self-reflecting there for a few moments. I found myself second-guessing this whole situation with Crystal. I asked myself if it was possible that she is just some kind of creation of my own mind and she’s not an external entity. Just in my thoughts, I even asked her about all of this. I was thinking something like “what the hell Crystal? I thought you were so superior and that you were a separate being…..  you didn’t even give me the right answer to this question”.

 

  I remember her reply, she said “it doesn’t work that way”. I’m not really sure what she meant by that, but that’s what she said. So there I was, just pondering if it was possible that Crystal wasn’t real. I was back in bed at this point and just as these thoughts were going through my mind, the physical sensations that were coming up through the mattress of the bed increased in intensity quite a large degree. These sensations felt more than real enough to me. So, I wasn’t lost in these ponderings for very long.

 

  After that, Crystal started going heavy on the cryptic talk. She was saying mysterious things. At one point, she was telling me how human beings….humanity at large, was created by alien beings. She also kept saying something about gravity. I’m not sure in what context. But, I heard her say the word gravity several times for a little while. Unfortunately, this kind of talk is not out of the ordinary for her. When she’s not throwing insults at me or making criticisms of me, she’s usually talking about these mysterious things. Some of it is actually quite interesting in a way, yet I know that I simply cannot believe anything that I hear her say at face value.

 

   Eventually the wind and rain began to settle down a bit. It didn’t seem like my small apartment was a shipping tossed around on a stormy sea anymore. Crystal kept going with the cryptic talk for quite a while and then at one point I remember her wishing me a Merry Christmas.  I fell asleep eventually. I’m not sure when it was exactly, it could have been two o’clock or three o’clock in the morning for all I know. I was tired the next day….Christmas Day, but I got through it okay. Since this is two years in a row now that I’ve had a difficult time on Christmas Eve, if I am wise enough to remember next year, I’ll try and prepare a little better. While I can’t say for sure, my strong suspicion is that Crystal deliberately tried to foul up my Christmas holiday with an attempt at sleep deprivation.

 

 

 

 

 December 27, 2020 

 

  I just want to quickly talk about something that occurred last night. It was probably around 9 o’clock at night or so. I went outside to smoke a cigarette. It was very cold out and I remember looking up at the moon. I was hearing Crystal‘s voice chattering faintly. I don’t remember exactly what she was saying, but I remember that I caught myself essentially completing her sentences through my own thoughts. This is something that I find myself doing every once in a while, much to my dismay. It’s hard to describe, but it’s like I pick up on something Crystal is saying and just through my own thoughts, I start finishing her statements essentially. It’s like she initiates a conversation and I just pick up on it and my thoughts run with it. I realized that I was doing this last night when I was outside smoking and it just hit me that this is something that I need to watch out for. It gave me a bad feeling that by doing this, it seemed like I was linking my own mind up with Crystal in a strange way. It seemed like it was taking a step towards connecting our thoughts or thinking as one in a sense. This is obviously something that I would not want.

 

  So it hit me that I was doing this, that I was essentially anticipating and finishing her statements. I began to think to myself, maybe this is what Crystal‘s motive is. Maybe she’s trying to connect herself in some way with a human being so that she can experience certain things in this world as a human being does. To explain this, I have to discuss things that I hear Crystal saying sometimes about life on this planet. And as with so much else regarding the things that she says, her statements are not always consistent. Sometimes, just by picking up on what she’s saying, I can tell that she is implying that she doesn’t want to be in this world (ie: on Earth), or as close to it as she is presently. From some of what I hear, I get the impression that she almost feels marooned here in a way, or trapped here. Yet, there are also occasions when I will hear her say that being in this world is better than being in her world. More recently, her comments have been going in this direction.

 

   With these statements, I get the impression that she does want to exist in this world. I’ll even literally hear her say as much, I’ll hear her say “I want to exist on this planet”. So, after I caught myself doing this thing last night where it seemed like I was finishing her statements and I felt very uncomfortable about this, I began to ponder if this is something that she’s hoping to achieve. Maybe she wants to intrude into my very being as much as she can because perhaps it allows her to further experience things in this world or in this dimension. Being that this is a very mysterious situation, I often find myself having these kinds of heavy thoughts regarding what it could all mean and what Crystal’s really all about.

 

  So while I was outside there for a few minutes last night smoking a cigarette, I found all these thoughts running through my mind, wondering if this is something that Crystal wants, if she wants our thoughts to essentially become entangled, because she’s trying to connect with the world through me. She picked up on these thoughts that I was having, which is no surprise to me she always seems to. She made a statement replying to these thoughts that I was having. I heard her voice say “it’s not as distant as that”. Right away I was baffled by this statement, wondering what she meant by it. She caught me off guard, because to be honest it wasn’t the kind of answer that I was expecting. Perhaps I should’ve expected it though, seeing as she often speaks in a very cryptic manner.  “It’s not as distant as that”. I’m still wondering about this one. I simply do not know what she means by it. Perhaps she didn’t mean anything, she just saw that I was thinking these deep confusing thoughts and she thought she would add another riddle to it. That seems fairly likely to me.

 

  Anyway, I had another rough night last night in regards to falling asleep. It seemed like it took two or three hours before I finally made it off to sleep. I don’t think this was all because of harassment from Crystal, though she was contributing to it a bit last night. I’m a week into my break from work, so this has already changed my sleep routine just on its own. I’ve been going to bed a little later and waking up a bit later then I would otherwise be when I’m working. So maybe it’s just a case of my internal clock getting a little mixed up here. But, as I said, Crystal was contributing to the problem a bit last night.

 

   I remember that she hit me with two “shout attacks”. This is where she’ll shout right in my face or right up to one of my ears, or sometimes it seems like it’s in my head. It’s a very quick sudden shout. I often describe it as akin to being punched by a voice. It’s very sudden and it sends a jolting sensation through my body. This was a tactic of disruption that she was using to a large extent during the Summer of 2019. She hasn’t been using it that much this year, definitely not compared to last year. However, she does still hit me with this every once in a while and actually I observed that sometimes the shouts that I do get hit with these days are even stronger than they were back in 2019.

 

  I got hit with a very strong one last night. As I mentioned, I got hit with two of these shout attacks last night. They were spaced out quite a bit. I didn’t get hit with the first one until I was starting to drift into that state where I’m half awake and half asleep, or the “in-between zone” as I often call it. And then it seemed like a bit of time went by before I got hit by the second one. It was as if she was waiting until I was getting close to the point of falling asleep and then hitting me with the shout in order to startle me and begin the whole process of falling asleep all over again.

 

  One of the shouts was very clear I remember. It wasn’t the loudest shout I’ve ever heard from her, yet it was very clear. By this I mean, most often when I hear Crystal‘s voice, it’s usually fainter and it has a higher pitch quality to it than your normal human voice. Her voice does generally sound like a human voice, there’s just these couple of characteristics to it that makes it sound a bit different from a regular voice. However, last night one of the shouts I was hit with sounded more like an in-the-flesh human being sneaking up to me while I was in bed and shouting right into one of my ears.  I recognized it as being Crystal’s voice right away.

 

The physical sensations were also present as they most often are. As I mentioned, it seemed like it took a good two or three hours before I finally fell asleep last night. In a strange way, I almost feel like I’m ready to go back to work. All year long I look forward to this break time, the holiday break, but now that it’s here, it just seems like my routine, my internal clock as far as sleep and such goes, is getting all mixed up. It’s not really Crystal fouling things up any more than usual, which has occurred in the past while I’ve been on a break from work. It’s just the way it is. Well, one more week to go and then I’m back to work and before long I’ll be wishing I was back on break again. That’s just how it goes for me.

 

 

 

 

 

December 28, 2020

 

  A few weeks ago while I was browsing around on the internet, I stumbled upon another account where a person captured EVPs while they were recording themselves sleeping. This is the second such account like this that I’ve come across in just the last couple of months. I don’t remember all the details, but this person stated that they were monitoring their sleep, apparently they were having some trouble sleeping and they were looking into this a little bit. On one occasion they went back and reviewed their recording and they were startled to hear a voice on it. This individual did not recognize the voice as anyone she knew and I believe she went on to explain that there was no one else present at the time, so thoughts of some type of paranormal activity ran through her mind.

 

   She was a bit shaken by this incident. She stated from the start that she wasn’t involved in paranormal research in anyway and that she was simply recording herself sleeping to investigate this sleep issue that she had been having and she by no means was intending to try and capture EVPs. This is a very similar scenario to an account that I just saw just a couple of months back. There as well, a person was recording themselves sleeping, it had nothing to do with trying to capture EVPs, they were having a sleep issue and they were just trying to get a little more information for themselves. In this account as well, when they reviewed one of the recordings, they were surprised to hear unexplained voices on it.

 

  With this more recent account, I could tell right away that this woman was deeply affected by this incident, deeply trouble by it. I could tell right away that aside from being troubled by this, she was also feeling a strong sense of curiosity. She even stated as such in one of her comments. This is where I chimed in and offered her my opinion. Without going into too much detail, because I didn’t want to frighten her even further, I told her that I was experimenting with EVP recording for a couple months back in 2015 and it took a really bad turn. Again, without listing too many of the unpleasant details, I basically told her that I was experimenting with EVP, and I to was hit with this extremely powerful feeling of curiosity, and that by the end of the second month of recording, I began experiencing incidents of hearing some of these same voices beyond the recording sessions.

 

  This was a little bit of a tricky situation for me. I wanted to give her a warning, but I didn’t want to add to the sense of apprehension that she was already experiencing. However, I did feel compelled to give her at least some warning about this particular danger because of how she described feeling this strong sense of curiosity almost compelling her to investigate this matter further. It seemed like there was a real chance that she would do more recordings and this time she would be specifically looking to see if she heard unexplained voices on them. From what I could gather when I went back to the forum a couple of days later, it seemed that she decided not to try and investigate this further on her own, but just to try to put the incident behind her and go on with her life.

 

   In the account that I read a couple of months ago, I saw a few of comments that people left where they encouraged this individual to investigate this further by intentionally recording to see if the individual could capture more voices on recording. Notions of trying communicate with this “spirit” or “spirits”, that the spirits may want some kind of help were present in these comments. For some of these people leaving comments, it seemed to me that right away their assumption was that there was a spirit involved here. I understand that assumption, it was my assumption to when I first started recording in 2015. I’m not saying it’s wrong, I don’t know that. But, given the fact that I’m still dealing with one of these entity attachments from going back to when I was recording EVP, the issue is much more of an open question to me now than it was to me back then.

 

  This voice that I still hear today, the one that calls herself Crystal, I don’t assume anything about her identity anymore really. As I stated previously, it’s hard for me to even pin it down to a personal opinion on the matter. She can give me certain impressions at times, but then she can switch things around. EVP sessions are a common feature on ghost hunting television shows, so sure, it could cause many to have an assumption that if someone catches an EVP, even unintentionally, well it must be a ghost then. Again, I’m not saying this isn’t the case in some situations, I just mean to say that these assumptions about such a mysterious phenomenon that we still know so little about may incite a person to give another some really bad advice. After having gone through what I’ve gone through with this whole entity attachment situation, I admit I cringe when I see people on the Internet making comments encouraging others to start investigating mysterious happenings in their home by doing EVP sessions.

 

  Back in 2015, the first account that I came upon from another person that sounded very similar to my own, involved an individual that was recording themselves sleeping. This individual was also very surprised to hear unexplained voices on the recordings and in this case, I would gather that their curiosity led them to investigate this further. In this case, it seemed like the individual either continued recording themselves sleeping, but now with the intention (even to a small degree) of investigating these mysterious voices further, or they went back and listened to these previous recordings containing the voices quite a bit. I say this because I think that a major contributing factor in developing this condition of what I often refer to as “hijacked clairaudience”, is listening very intensely to these EVP voices.

 

   Just in my own case, yes I would say that this was a huge factor. I’m sure that there were other factors involved as well. But, I think that when I really let my curiosity get the better of me and I listened to these recordings that I had made over and over and over again to try and discern what each and every voice I heard was saying, I think I was definitely doing something that was altering my hearing. Within a short amount of time I found that I was getting better at hearing these voices on my recordings. It seemed like I was a tuning my hearing to them.

 

  This account that I came across in 2015, this individual also stated that they also were stricken with a condition where they were being tormented by voices and also experiencing some physical phenomenon as well. I knew right away that it was the same kind of situation that I was dealing with. So here is a case where recording yourself sleeping led to a bad outcome. I understand that when people are recording themselves sleeping they’re most often not intending to investigate the paranormal or electronic voice phenomenon specifically. But, I am seeing more cases where recording yourself sleeping can cause a person to find themselves in a situation where they end up potentially investigating the presence of mysterious voices that they capture. This touches upon some very complicated and controversial things I know. Just within the paranormal aspect, some would probably say well it’s best to investigate the presence of these voices to see if communication could bring about a positive outcome or resolution. Maybe that would happen in some cases. All I’m saying, is that I’ve seen at least one case where it led to a bad attachment situation like my own. So, that risk is out there I would say.