A Bright and Sunny Afternoon


   It is mid-afternoon on a Sunday in late June. It’s my day off from work. It’s my only day off from work all week, yet I can’t seem to muster much strength to do anything today. Here and there, the feeling comes over me that I can’t stay awake. I know that if I lie down to rest, I might run the risk of falling asleep for several hours and the next thing I know, I slept through most of my day off.  It happened to me last Sunday and the Sunday before that. So, here I am trying to resist falling asleep once again. It’s tempting though, it’s real tempting.

  It’s bright and sunny outside currently, but inside of my apartment, it’s rather dim. I have most of my shades pulled down. I cleaned the place for a bit this morning, but that feeling of fatigue keeps creeping up …..overtaking me. Then there is the presence of the voice as well. The voice of this spirit attachment (that tells me her name is Crystal). She has been present all day as well. Of course she has. That is what an attachment means doesn’t it? It’s a beautiful Summer day outside of my apartment, yet here she is, here she remains. I don’t’ understand why she never leaves…..why she never seems to want to leave. Will some kind of connection between us be broken if she leaves, even if only for a short while? Would I not be able to hear her voice if she left?

  When I have such thoughts, I’ll hear her say something like “you have to be punished” or “you have to be punished for your sinful life.” I would say that I tend not to believe this. I haven’t lived the life of a saint I know, but is that really the sole purpose of her presence here? I have my doubts. But, this one seems to be a favorite mind game of hers. To instill guilt seems to be something that she’s always trying for.

  I also remember something that she has said to me many times before in the past. “I am inside of your astral body.” Could that be it? Could that be the reason why she never leaves? I often wonder, doesn’t she ever get sick and tired of being around me all of the time? If she departed my astral body, would the connection be lost? It’s another mystery among many I suppose.
  It’s late afternoon now. I’m trying to find the motivation within myself to get out and get going. To do something…..to do anything. It’s not easy for me to muster the strength. A part of me doesn’t feel like leaving my dimly lit apartment. A part of me just doesn’t feel like coming into contact with the outside world that’s out there. Do I share something in common with Crystal in this regard?

-June, 2020




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