"A Personal Vendetta Against You"

 

   Last night, just before I got into bed, I heard Crystal say “I’m doing this because I have a personal vendetta against you.”

  This got my attention, but I had heard the same thing from her before. Yes, I had heard talk of her “personal vendetta” against me before. There, in that moment, I stood there beside my bed and contemplated having my own personal vendetta against her. I knew it wouldn’t be wise. By now, I felt like I had moved on from that former mindset. Yet, I still felt that there was an argument to be made in justifying it.

 Then I remembered, I was trying to live by a new motto “be the opposite of Crystal.”

I must be on guard against falling into any of her traps that would compel me to behave in a manner that was in any way similar to hers. If she wanted to be vindictive, then that was on her….. her personal vendetta and all her’s alone. Was I supposed to believe that this is how she justified her own actions? Yes, I had heard her mention this “personal vendetta” against me before,  but what about all of the other explanations that she had given me…..and there were several.

  On more occasions than I could count, I’ve heard her say “you gave me an opportunity to live on this planet.”

What did she mean by this? What opportunity had I given her? Was it the opening of some hidden perception back when I was recording in 2015? Did I inadvertently throw open the door for her to enter this world? I have often heard her say “I am inside of your astral body.” I have often heard her add to such talk as this with “I’d rather be on your world than my world.” Is that it right there in a nutshell? Is attaching to my life the means by which she can connect with this world……this physical world?  More questions without answers for me I suppose.

  Yet, some of the physical sensations that I experience do give me the impression at times that perhaps there is some kind of leeching going on here. Am I merely a source of food or energy to some kind of “higher being” as Crystal often says?

I’ll tell you this, back during the month of April, 2015 (which is when the oppression first hit me full force) I observed that these entities had tremendous strength and ability. These entities put me through a “shock and awe” phase (as I often call it now) where they would sound extremely menacing, bang on walls, slammed a door on one occasion, embedded EVPs on my voicemail and manipulated electronic devices on a few occasions.  This was the period of time when I was most stricken with anxiety, fear and an overall feeling of despair. I thought that my life, as I had known it, was completely over and I had no idea what was on the horizon. It was then, during these darkest of days, that I witnessed these entities displaying this stronger ability. As time went on, and I gained a better handle over my emotions, a lot of their strength and ability seemed to diminish.

  This isn’t to say that Crystal doesn’t surprise me every now and again with some new ability, but so far, things have never been as dicey for me as they were in April of 2015. Was it my raw emotions of dread and despair that gave these entities such strength? Looking back on things now, I believe that this was very likely.

 

- August, 2020