The Identity Game : A Tactic of Entity Intrusion

 The Identity Game

 

  I thought things were getting better, or at least I hoped that they were. There were indications of this over the course of the past few weeks. This entity, this spirit… this invisible being that I hear as a female voice and that calls herself “Crystal”, seemed to be easing up a bit on her intrusive and harassing behavior. Not completely mind you, but enough where I took notice and I suppose that I allowed myself to get my hopes up a little bit.

  These past few weeks, I had still been hearing her voice to some degree every day and I was still often feeling the physical presence, the bodily sensations that I experience so often. However, it just seemed to me that something had changed. Crystal is still around me, I knew that, but she just didn’t seem as motivated to cause me a disturbance as she so often has in the past.

  When I was hearing her voice, what I did pick up on didn’t seem to be the usual criticisms or judgmental statements or even the cryptic mind games for that matter. It seemed more like simple small talk to me. And at night, as I would be lying in bed, waiting to fall asleep, I would still feel the physical presence at times, but it didn’t seem out to deprive me of sleep in an intentional manner. I would even say that these past few weeks I’ve felt the bodily sensations less than I had throughout this entire attachment situation. Some nights it seemed like they were hardly there at all. Basically, it just seemed to me like Crystal was changing her demeanor a bit here.

  I wouldn’t exactly say that she seemed kind and benevolent all of a sudden… no I wouldn’t go that far. However, it seemed like she was easing up quite a bit on the hostility that she had so often shown towards me. I knew that this wasn’t an end to my ordeal by any means. Yet, I saw this as at least some sign, to some degree…of a positive change. Yes, I was still dealing with her presence, but I welcomed this change mainly for the fact that it did seem to be just that…a long awaited a change.

  I can’t stress this enough, for the longest time it seemed like Crystal was just set in her ways, in her mindset, that she wasn’t interested or willing to budge an inch, to give any ground at all. I’ve never known what her motives are, but they always involved intruding into my life to an extreme degree and trying to make me feel confused about what was happening. In the past, I have used the word “sadistic” to describe her behavior towards me. It was worse earlier on. I just couldn’t escape hearing her voice. It was like it was constantly bombarding me and what I was hearing was something negative or critical in nature more often than not.

  Over time, I guess perhaps even on a subconscious level, I just got sick and tired of hearing the same kind of things from her, so it seemed like my mind, just by instinct almost… started to reject hearing her voice as much, and I was able to tune her out at least to some degree. It was at night and she would still get to me quite often. As I lie there and bed and everything else around me was seemingly quiet, I just found that I could never completely block out her voice. It would always get through it seemed.

  Yes, she never seemed to yield even an inch. I have pleaded with her more times than I can count to at the very least… just stop bothering me when I’m trying to sleep. There have been times when this has been a real problem in my situation and I have lost many a night of sleep because of the presence of her voice and feeling the bodily sensations. Yet, it seemed like no matter how much I pleaded with her…no matter how much I tried to reason with her, she just wouldn’t ease up with this at all. No, she wouldn’t budge in the slightest. She wouldn’t give any ground at all.

  So, when she seemed to be backing off a bit all of a sudden, I was optimistic, very optimistic. She wasn’t gone completely and the situation wasn’t perfect by any means, but at least it was a change, it was some degree of change, and I had not seen that before with her. That in itself was significant I felt.

 Yesterday morning, I realized that I was out of sleep-aid, which I have been taking practically every night for the past few years because of the way that she disrupts my sleep. Part of me hated to risk going without it for even just a single night. But, something compelled me to just take a chance here. Maybe I just wanted to see if things were actually different now and that I could finally do away with having to take something every night to help me fall asleep. In truth, the weather might also have been a factor with this.

  Yesterday we experienced the first snow storm of the Winter season around here. It snowed for a while, then it switched over to sleet and freezing rain. It was all just a mess basically. It was not the kind of weather that I would want to go out in to run to the store and pick up some sleep-aid, but I would have if I felt compelled enough. I knew that it was very risky.

 It’s true that I hadn’t been deprived of a whole night of sleep as a result of the presence of Crystal in quite a while now. Yet, there have been plenty of occasions in just the past few months where I’ve lost at least half a night’s sleep because of the disturbances that she creates. So, I knew that this would still be a gamble.

   By the time that the sun set in the early evening, I decided that I was just going to stay home and see what happened. I was going to chance it. I went to bed just a little before midnight. By this time, the wind had picked up and the snow had once again changed over into sleet and freezing rain. I kept hearing the sound of the sleet hitting my bedroom windows and of the wind creating quite a ruckus outside. This on its own was enough to make it difficult for me to fall asleep nice and easy.

  I was hearing Crystal‘s voice slightly, but not really much at all. So at first I didn’t see any signs that Crystal was out to cause me any significant degree of trouble. An hour went by, maybe two even, I’m not certain, but there I was still unable to fall asleep. Then suddenly Crystal attacked.

  It started with the physical sensations. It seemed like jabs and pinches were coming up through the mattress of my bed. I have experienced this many times before. It seems to be one of Crystal’s favorite methods of inflicting sleep deprivation on me. Then I began hearing the shouts. These shouts were coming from Crystal, they were very brief and sudden, but I still recognized her voice.

 These shouts were not the most intense that I’ve ever experienced, but they were hitting me in quick succession, almost one after another for a time. I suspect that this is a new tactic that Crystal has been working on for the past few months. I say this because I’ve experienced it a number of times at night already and recognized it as being something different from how she had been hitting me with these shouts previously.

   Crystal has been hitting me with these shouts going back about three years now. Over time, I have seen her employ different techniques and variations with these shouts from time to time. This isn’t the first time that I’ve seen a variation to them.

  Previously when I experienced one, it would typically be very strong, very intense…very sudden. The shout was like being punched in the head by a voice. There was a level of violence to it essentially. I could feel a sudden jolting sensation run through my body. If I were almost to the point of sleep when I heard one of these shouts, well I wasn’t almost asleep after hearing it…I was wide awake again. I suspect that this is the real motive behind it.

 When I hear these shouts, I can hear Crystal’s voice, and I can recognize it, but more often than not I can’t recognize that she’s actually saying anything. It might just be her voice saying “Hey!” really loud. Usually it just seems like it’s a single word, sometimes maybe it’s a few, but it’s always very brief, intense and sudden and I usually don’t pick up on what she saying… if she’s saying anything at all. I suspect personally, that most often she’s not really saying anything. I do not think that the intention of these shouts is to convey a message to me or anything like that. I think it’s more intended to simply startle the hell out of me and to make me feel that unsettling feeling that by now is quite familiar to me….where I remember that this is really happening.

  So, I got hit with what seemed like a dozen of these shouts of lesser intensity right in a row. I knew right away that Crystal was out to cause me trouble here. Then I heard her voice clearly saying “I am an extraterrestrial”…… “I am an extraterrestrial”… “I am an extraterrestrial”. She repeated this quite a few times, I don’t recall how many. And this I heard very clearly. Here she was conveying a message and that message was received. The message was that she’s back to playing her old game, a game that she’s been playing with me since this whole situation started. I call it “the identity game.” That’s what it is really.

  Crystal has always liked to wear many mask. I mean this metaphorically, as generally she is invisible to me. I primarily perceive her by hearing her voice and feeling her presence in a direct physical way. Since this all started for me back in 2015, one question that I’ve never been able to find an absolute answer for is who is Crystal? what is Crystal? and where does she come from? Well, I suppose that this could be viewed as three separate questions, but for me they’ve always been wrapped up into one big question….one confusing big mystery.

   I confess that this question is often on my mind, how could it not be? Crystal of course could sense that I was wondering about this quite a lot. So since the beginning, she has made this into a kind of mind game where she likes to wear different mask, assume different identities with the intention of frustrating me and leaving me more confused. Sometimes she claims to be the spirit of a human being. Often I’ve heard her say that she was a young woman who passed away under tragic circumstances back in 1983. She’ll add a little detail and elaboration to her claims about this, but never enough for me to even begin to try and verify it.

  Yet, there have been times when she’s told me a story about something that happened to her in the past while she was alive on Earth and she really had me going. One instance comes to mind. One night a few years ago, she told me a story about her time on Earth with a lot of emotion and with such conviction, that I felt that I finally understood what she was all about. Even if I harbored some degree of doubt here, I found myself very much wanting to believe her, because this was at least with something that I could wrap my mind around. She was telling me a very powerful and a very human story and I could relate to that. I could understand it on some level.

 Even though I knew that I couldn’t place my trust in this claim of hers, a part of me felt like it would be better to at least have a personal belief about it, even if there was no way that I could ever completely confirm this belief. I felt that perhaps my own thoughts wouldn’t feel so adrift and all over the place if I at least settled on one personal belief for myself regarding who Crystal is. Maybe this would have made things easier for me, but Crystal wasn’t about to let that happen.

  The next night after she had told me that very compelling story about when she was a young woman living in this world, I began to hear her speaking about her identity once again, only this time she was telling me a different story. This time she was telling me that she wasn’t human at all and that she never had been. Even though she could make her voice sound very human, she was far from it she claimed. She began to tell me that UFOs are infiltrating this world and that she originates from what she called an “astral planet”.

  I’ve heard her refer to this “astral planet” many times since. I’m familiar with the term astral plane, but she hardly ever uses this to describe where she comes from, she’s more specific. She tells me that she comes from an “astral planet”. I’ve often heard her describe herself as an “astral being”, but she also frequently uses the term “extraterrestrial” as well.

  This was the case the other night when I kept hearing her repeat over and over again “I am an extraterrestrial”…… “I am an extraterrestrial” etc... And it doesn’t end there. On other occasions I’ll hear her refer to herself as “Lucifer’s Lieutenant” and she’ll begin speaking to me about things of a religious nature. She was doing this quite a lot back in the beginning, when every day I was filled with an extreme sense of apprehension and anxiety.  She’ll still put on the mask of “Lucifer’s Lieutenant” every now and again to this day.

  Sometimes I still wonder if it would be easier for me to just settle on one belief about Crystal. I know that I could never be certain about this belief of course, but maybe it would stop me from thinking about it so much… maybe. Where it stands today, I confess that I simply don’t know who Crystal is or where she comes from. I can’t pin her down to anything it seems, she’s too elusive. She can wear all of these different mask with great skill and she is quite a master at deception. Perhaps one of these claims of hers is the truth, but how would I recognize the truth from her?

  Yet, what I do know is that she is very real. I’m more than convinced that Crystal is no delusion of my own mind, she’s no hallucination. The world it would seem, holds many mysteries still, and we’ve yet to find all the answers. I suppose that that’s how it’s always been.

  Luckily, Crystal’s little attack the other night didn’t deprive me of too much sleep. I’d say that I probably lost half the night, but I did manage to fall asleep at some point. I wasn’t kept awake further by thinking about what Crystal had said, about how she’s an extraterrestrial. No, that didn’t keep me awake at all. I recognized that mask only too well.

 

-          February, 2021