Hearing Voices Entity Attachment : Journal pt. 1

 March 28, 2021 

I was off from work today, Sunday and I slept through most of the day. I did stay up a bit late last night. But, when I woke up this morning around 10 o’clock, I felt fairly rested I thought. Then, by around noon everything had changed and I could barely keep my eyes open. I crawled into bed just wanting to rest for a little bit, but not wanting to fall into a deep sleep. However, it was into a deep sleep that I fell. It seemed like I would come out of it intermittently, and then I was about to rise and get going, to get up and do something with the day. Yet, I found myself unable to muster the energy to rise from my bed and I fell back asleep. I finally woke up at around 5 o’clock. I had fallen asleep for five hours. This has been happening quite frequently on my days off from work recently. Right now, with the way that my job is, I only have Sunday off from work.. This Sunday, I had plans to go out and take care of a few things. These were work related things, things that I hadn’t found the time to take care of during the week. I’m often not happy about having to take care of work related business on my only day off, however I’m used to it. Yet, today I simply didn’t have a chance. And the fact that I keep losing so much time on my only day off from work recently to feeling drained and falling into a deep sleep, has me wondering quite a bit….I confess. 

  My situation with this attaching entity, this voice... this female sounding voice that calls herself Crystal, it continues….it goes on. Her presence and her intrusions at night continue to cause me disruptions. I hardly ever get a single night where I can go to bed and I’m not hearing her voice chattering away or I am feeling sensations, or a physical presence on my body of some kind. Ever since this unfortunate situation started for me  back in 2015, these things have always made it challenging to fall asleep in a peaceful manner. I confess that I’m still quite reliant on taking a sleep-aid. I still take one practically every night. I often feel that this brings on its own problems. Often in the morning, I feel like I’m in a haze for a while. I suspect it’s the lingering effect from the sleep-aid. So, I have never thought of it as a perfect solution to my problem. However, I have experienced too many nights where I’ve gone without taking any sleep-aid and I’ve had to endure hours of hearing Crystal‘s voice and being bothered by the physical sensations. 

 Fortunately , I have not lost an entire night of sleep as a result of Crystal‘s presence since early 2019. However, there have been plenty of occasions since, when I have been kept awake half the night.

So, when I slept through most of the afternoon today, it had me wondering why it was that I was feeling so drained. I would say that my nightly struggles to achieve sleep in the face of Crystal‘s presence, have not been as extreme recently as they have been at times in the past. However, it is still not an ideal situation to say the least. The problem of her presence remains. If I go through a week where I’m losing an hour or so each night as a result of her intrusions, does that create a circumstance where it’s going to catch up with me before too long? Perhaps today it did catch up with me. Perhaps I was experiencing the effect of still having my sleep routine chipped away piece by piece. Even though the pieces may be smaller now from what they were previously, it’s still only a matter of time before it catches up with me. Such thoughts have been running through my mind this evening.

 I confess that I’ve also been having thoughts today that what I’ve been experiencing recently….this feeling of being totally drained of energy on my day off from work, is perhaps Crystal’s doing. I have often wondered if feeding off of me in some mysterious way, was one of her primary motives. These bodily sensations that I experience practically every night and that I have experienced since the very early days of this situation, at times they give me the impression that there’s some kind of leeching taking place. I’ve been having such thoughts for quite a long time. There’s just something about the nature of these sensations….. this presence that I feel,  that gives me the impression that there might be something vampiric to all of this. I know that I can’t be certain, just as I can’t be certain about so many aspects of this situation other than that it is really happening. 

  Yes, I was also wondering this afternoon whether what I was experiencing was a direct result of Crystal draining me of energy in some way. I’ll often hear her voice blatantly say that this is true. In fact, I’ll often hear her say that she is “inside of my astral body” and “draining me of astral energy”. Yet, I have certainly learned by now not to place my trust in her statements. I’m not saying that she’s always telling a lie or trying to deceive me, only that she has deceived me and contradicted herself so many times in the past that I can regard nothing that I hear from her as truth without even questioning it.

Well, in truth I don’t know what’s really going on here. This week is something of an anniversary for me. It was around this time back in 2015 when I was hit full force by the onslaught of these voices entities. It was in the beginning of April when I began hearing them on a constant basis. Crystal‘s voice was there, yet her voice was just one voice among many,  where now it is the only voice from those times that still remains on a day-to-day basis. 

  Many circumstances have changed since those days in 2015. Many circumstances have changed for the better in fact.  However, I would consider it an accurate statement to say that this situation has aged me before my time. I look back at those days and it just seems to me like I was a much younger man back then, even though in truth, it wasn’t all that long ago. It’s more about how I felt. I still felt like a younger man back then….where now I feel tired and worn out. So, maybe what I’ve been experiencing is just the result of the toll that this unfortunate situation has taken on me both physically and mentally. Perhaps some of it is the result of Crystal’s direct activity, and perhaps some of it is the result of relying on the sleep-aid to such a degree….gaining a reprieve one night, only to pay for it later. Perhaps it’s the combination of all of these things, all of these things along with the passage of time.