Hearing Voices Entity Attachment : Journal pt. 3

March 31, 2021

Well today was a little more stressful at work than yesterday, but not too bad. The worst is yet to come I know. Once it starts getting into consistent warm weather, that’s when things get really busy. It’s not too far off. Today is a bit on the chilly side and it’s raining out right now. But Summer is just around the corner….. though so far it doesn’t even seem like we’ve had much Spring weather. 

  Just touching upon what I had mentioned previously, about this week being an anniversary for me in regards to my attachment situation. If my memory serves me right, I believe that at this time back in 2015, the weather was a lot nicer, it was more Spring-like weather. I say this because even though that was essentially the roughest…. darkest time in my entire life, I have these vivid memories of the weather being actually very nice. As I had mentioned, it was in the beginning of April in 2015 that these voices entities attacked me full force. It was at this point that they started tormenting me with barrage after barrage of voices-harassment around the clock…. without let up and without mercy. I mentioned that I tried to find things to do that would take my focus off of the voices, such as watching movies or listening to music, but that none of those things really worked for me, the voices were too strong. I couldn’t escape them no matter how hard I tried. The only thing that gave me at least a little bit of relief was that during the month of April and probably well into May, I developed a nightly habit of drinking a six pack of beer and sometimes just sitting outside in my backyard for hours. For some reason I just felt at least a little bit better being outside. Perhaps the voices were getting to me more when I was indoors and alone. When I was outside, perhaps I felt a little less isolated, I could hear cars going by in the distance or hear people talking in the distance. Perhaps in some small way, being outside helped me to feel less cut off from the world. 

  So there were many afternoons and many nights when I would just sit out in my backyard and drink a six pack of beer. The voices were still there harassing me, but at least getting a buzz and being outside in the nice weather took the edge off a little bit. I confess that I did turn to drinking to try and numb myself to what I was going through. However, I was aware that if I started drinking too much, I wouldn’t be able to function at all because I would be going through my day with a hangover and dealing with the oppression of these voices at the same time. That was a little too much for me, so I was careful to only drink enough to give me a moderate buzz. This also didn’t stop the voices, but again….. at least it took the edge off a little. It did reach the point where eventually the drinking became its own problem, but I’m glad to say that I haven’t touched  a drink in a couple of years now. I don’t blame myself for turning to it like I did, but I couldn’t wrestle with that temptation and the voices at the same time. In the beginning, it was already hard enough to function in my day-to-day life….. go to work…. talk to people…go to the store….. and things like that. Many day-to-day things became rather difficult for me because there were always these voices coming at me.

   I remember one day when I was at work and talking to a customer and there was this voice speaking into one of my ears and it kept repeating over and over again “this is really happening” …..”this is really happening”. I also remember that there were many occasions during the Spring and Summer of 2015 when I would be at work and be on the phone talking to a customer and I would be aware of this subtle layer of static on the line and through the static I could hear the voices talking to me. It was quite surreal. Sometimes, I still experience this when I’m on the phone. I suspect that perhaps this subtle layer of static that I hear during these incidents was actually always there, but when I was recording EVP back during the Winter of 2015, I did something to my hearing to such a degree that now these subtle layers of sound are noticeable to me. I have often wondered if these voices weren’t always there speaking to me, perhaps sometimes through subtle everyday background sounds, it’s just that I never picked up on their presence before, I never noticed them. When I intentionally sought out to hear and communicate with other worldly voices, I opened up my perceptions and now I was perceiving a whole other world it seemed.

  But getting back to what I was mentioning, how I would sit outside at night back in April 2015, back when my world was falling apart all around me. As bad as it was, I will say that I remember that the weather was lovely back then. I remember that I was able to sit outside for several hours at night and it wasn’t cold…. the weather was just lovely. Probably one of the worst voices attacks I experienced was during the daytime back in early to mid April, 2015. This was when these entities hit me with what I call “the stadium effect” . The stadium effect is something that I experienced only a few times and all of these incidents occurred in April 2015. I don’t remember exactly, but they probably all occurred during what I call “my two weeks of hell”, which was the first half of April. But there was one incident that stands out among all the others. There’s one incident that’s seared into my memory. It was a bright and sunny day, it was in the afternoon I was at home sitting out in my backyard, when all of a sudden the intensity of the voices escalated to an extreme level. Not only did the strength of the voices escalate, the voices seemed to multiply to an extreme degree. I called it the stadium effect because that’s exactly what it felt like. It felt like I was hearing thousands upon thousands of voices, all of them mocking me and heckling me. It felt like I was being mocked and heckled by an entire stadium full of people. Yes, there was one incident of this stadium effect that really stands out and I’m sure that I’ll never forget it. Crystal's voice was there, I very much remember hearing Crystal‘s voice among the multitude of voices. In fact, I would say that her voice stood out the most. I remember her saying while this incident was unfolding “this is the biggest haunting ever”. I’ll never forget that. It was certainly one of the most surreal and troubling experiences of my life. But something else that I remember about it is that it happened on a beautiful day, it was a very beautiful Spring day in April. This may sound strange, that I’m talking about being attacked by mysterious otherworldly entities on the one hand, and how nice the weather was on the other. There are  just these little things that stand out in my memory from back then. And this week being the anniversary of the start of these kinds of more extreme attacks, I’ve just been thinking about it over the course of the past few days. And while I’ve been thinking about this anniversary the thought just popped into my head about how nice the weather was back while all this was occurring, especially compared to the weather we’ve been having around here so far this Spring.

  These attacks did begin before the beginning of April 2015, it’s just that by April they became constant. The nature of these attacks changed. I first started experiencing them at the very end of February 2015. This is when I first started having incidents of hearing some of the very same negative voices that I had been hearing on my EVP recordings….outside of the recordings. And then throughout the month of March 2015, there was this time of escalation. March 2015 was full of very frightening experiences all on its own. Things became much worse in April, but the nightmare was ramping up all throughout March. I just wanted to point out that with all of my talk about this week being an anniversary, while that is true, it wasn’t the start of my situation with these voices entities. And things began when I first decided to experiment was EVP recording back in late December 2014.

   Looking back now after all this time, I sometimes wonder if I had previous encounters with these entities even before any of this occurred. Before all this started I never had too many of what I would call paranormal experiences, however there were a few. These mainly occurred a few years prior to 2015. At the time, I thought they were strange and isolated incidents, but after all that has happened and all that I’ve been through, I sometimes wonder if there isn’t a connection between some of these early incidents and then what happened in 2015 and beyond. I will elaborate upon this further another time.