Psychic Contamination : Just Some Thoughts: 6-20-2021

 June 21, 2021

 It’s Sunday, my day off from work. It’s been a pretty nice day...sunny...warm, not really hot, but warm. I had intended to go out and take care of some work related items today, but as has happened many times before, I just couldn’t find the motivation. I have been working on my day off quite a bit recently. Yet, this Sunday I just couldn’t do it. It was a pretty rough week. I guess I just needed a day off. I can understand that, however it’s just going to compile things for this upcoming week that much more. Anyway, I’m not going to ramble and gripe about my work situation too much here, I realize I’ve been doing that a lot here on my blog  recently. This blog is essentially a journal.  I’m usually describing things that are happening in my life at the present time. I go in different directions with this and of course I’ll talk about things that occurred in the past, yet what’s happening in my current day-to-day life is usually very much a part of what I post here on this blog. Of course, the main focus of this blog is to describe my experiences regarding this entity attachment situation that I’ve been dealing with since the winter of 2015. This attachment situation is just that, it’s an attachment. It’s attachment to my life, so it is something that affects my day -to-day life. For me to describe what’s going on in the full picture so to speak, I feel that I have to incorporate other things that are occurring besides my direct dealings with Crystal. 

  Crystal’s presence can often affect things like my sleep routine, my mood my feelings my anxiety level, so all of these things can spill over into other aspects of my life. So, to paint a fuller picture, I try and discuss all of it, yet I know I’ve just been griping and complaining a little bit here recently. I knew it was going be a rough year, very tiring and exhausting in advance, but not sure I was able to be more prepared.

  Anyway, there hasn’t been any escalated incidents with Crystal today, or for the past few days for that matter. That incident that I mentioned in my previous post that occurred last Sunday, when I felt the physical sensations to a much stronger degree than I’ve felt them in quite a long time, was the last escalated incident as far as this week goes.

I’m going to just kick around some thoughts here. For the past few nights I’ve been watching a mini-series that was made a couple of years ago about the Chernobyl nuclear accident. It’s very good mini-series, it’s very well-made, I highly recommend it. I have found it very interesting and I’ve enjoyed watching it and it’s actually brought to mind something that Crystal has said to me in the past. 

  Now, what can the Chernobyl nuclear accident and this entity situation have in common? Maybe the aspect of contamination perhaps.  In this movie about Chernobyl, basically and people are fighting against an unseen opponent, a very dangerous unseen opponent and this is radioactive contamination. There have been occasions in the past, where I’ve heard Crystal mentioning something about how I’ve contaminated myself, or contaminated my living area. As I’ve mentioned previously, Crystal often makes these kinds of cryptic statements. In fact, she’s been making cryptic statements much more frequently over the course of the past two or three years then she was in the beginning, such as in 2015 or 2016.  Sometimes she’ll make these cryptic statements and repeat them for a time, perhaps for several weeks, or for a few months. These statements about me contaminating myself were statements she made a few times, not a whole lot, but definitely more than once..... I know that. It’s something she would say every once in a while, such as every few months. She never really elaborated upon it, other than to imply that part of this situation that I find myself in, part of this condition of attachment involves a kind of psychic contamination. I don’t really have the answers here, so again I’m just kicking around some ideas. As I said, Crystal doesn’t make these statements about contamination very often, so I can’t remember what she said word for word each time, however I do know that she was definitely using the word contamination. 

  I recall one incident where she said something about how I contaminated my home. What does she mean by contamination? Now, let me just reiterate that Crystal says a lot of things, she makes all sorts of cryptic and mysterious statements quite often. I have sometimes even said that she seems to speak in the language of riddles. So with this as well, I’m going to take her statements with a grain of salt. As I mentioned in previous blog post here, this is something of a mental defense mechanism for me and one that I feel has been very helpful to me and dealing with this situation these past few years. 

  Is Crystal talking about contamination by some sort of psychic energy? Back in 2015 when I was doing my EVP recording sessions for those two months, I was living in a different place from where I live now. I was recording for  EVP during the months of January and February 2015.  I would move to a new location just a few months later in fact. It was the case that I was actually in the process of moving when the whole attachment situation and psychic attack was hitting me full force. There’s more I can discuss with this, but just in reference to what I want to talk about here, I was doing those recording sessions at a different location from where I live now and in fact I was doing the vast majority of my recording sessions in one specific room in the house in which I was living at that time. I did sessions in other places, but not too many. The vast majority of the sessions were done in one specific room. It was a spare bedroom and I’m not really sure why I set things up this way, other than perhaps maybe I felt like it wasn’t such a great idea to do the sessions right there in my own bedroom, I’m not really sure. 

  Once I established communication with the voices that I was hearing on my recordings, it seemed to me that this room was sufficient, things were happening when I was doing sessions in the room, so I simply stuck with it. When the voices attacked me for force at the beginning of April 2015, I found myself spending a lot of time in another specific room in this house. This house had been in my family for a number of years, but I was the only one there at the time, so there were a few spare bedrooms in the house. My own bedroom was on the second floor, and the the spare bedroom where I was doing my recording sessions was right down a small hallway. There was another bedroom downstairs and once the attack hit full force, I essentially made that my bedroom for a while. I’m not exactly sure why this was, other than at that time, specially during the first half of April, as I have stated in a number of previous blog post, I found myself spending a lot of time just lying in bed. I wasn’t able to sleep very much, but I would just lie in bed for hours. I couldn’t distract myself I found, such as with watching movies or listening to music or reading books, at least not distract myself very much. The voices were simply coming at me too strong, they were getting through every barrier that I was putting up to try and block them.

   Another thing that I was doing a lot was smoking a hell of a lot of cigarettes. Though I still managed to go to work for the most part during that time, I did call out quite a bit during the month of April. So on days when I wasn’t at work struggling to make it through the day and hold it together, I would be at home lying in bed just taking the brunt of these voices attacks and going outside to have a cigarette probably every twenty  minutes or so. I didn’t smoke indoors, I still don’t, I always go outside. So maybe I was using this downstairs bedroom because it was closer to the back door, out to my back porch where I would be smoking  cigarette after cigarette trying to call my nerves as much as I could.

   I remember that there were times when I would be lying in bed in the downstairs bedroom, and I would hear the voices and it sounded as if they were coming from the floor above which would be that spare bedroom where I had been doing my recording sessions. I also had incidents where I heard movement coming from up there, I would hear footsteps and there were even a few incidents where I heard what sounded like people running down the stairs. So this gave me the impression that whoever these entities were that were tormenting me, they seemed to at least be spending some time up in that upstairs spare bedroom where I had done my recording sessions. Now, at other times they seemed to be right there with me...surrounding me wherever I was, but as I said.... I vividly recall these incidents where I would hear the voices and they seemed like they were originating from the upstairs spare bedroom, and I would hear movement up there as well. 

  Since I’ve moved, I have an occasion wondered how things were going back at my old house. I know that a family has moved in and they’ve been there for a few years now. I’ve basically wondered if the house was haunted (so to speak) in any way because of what occurred there back in 2015 and as a result of the things that I had been doing in that upstairs spare bedroom. I’ve heard Crystal talk about opening portals quite a bit. Again, this is another statement or another theme that she’ll touch upon, but she’ll bring this up every now and again and she has been for a few years now. When she talks about dimensional portals, most often I get the sense that she’s implying that through my actions with doing those recording sessions, especially as obsessively as I was doing, I had opened some kind of doorway ...a dimensional portal which allowed them to come through and enter into our world and stay here. Again, I’m not placing too much significance in this, because of the fact that Crystal says a lot of things, but I’m just speculating a bit here. I remember that back in early April 2015, during the worst days, I would be out on my back porch smoking a cigarette and sometimes it seemed like there was this pair of voices that were literally right behind me ....right behind my shoulders, one on each side. And they would say “thank you for making us real again”. At the time I didn’t know what to make of this, it was just one of many strange and disturbing things that I was hearing. Yet, since then I’ve pondered over this a little bit every now and again. I wondered if these voices were implying that I allowed them to come back to this world, that through me, through my actions ....they were now real again in this world, this physical world here on Earth. Perhaps this is what they wanted most and I gave it to them. So, yes I have often wondered if there was some kind of lingering psychic disturbance, some kind of portal left open back at that house where I was  living in 2015. I don’t know the answer to this, it’s just something I think about on occasion. Did I contaminate the home in some kind of psychic or paranormal way? Well, while my situation began at that house, the majority of what I’ve experienced throughout this whole attachment situation has occurred where I’m living now, which is in an apartment two towns away from where I was living in 2015. If there’s any kind of psychic energy contamination aspect to all of this,  I would say that the apartment where I live now is just as likely to be psychically contaminated as the house where I was living in 2015. 

  However, for the most part I’ve never really found that location was all that important when it comes to this attachment situation. I’m not sure, perhaps in some ways it is, it’s just that I observed that these voices entities seem to be able to follow me wherever I go. I have not found one place, one specific location where it seems to me that they can’t follow me. There are places where just by the nature of the environment, it’s easier to be distracted from them. For example, when I’m at work, there’s just more going on, more happening all around me and it’s easier to not pay attention to their presence. This is why I often say that I can go hours at work and not perceive Crystal‘s presence very much at all. Yet when I’m at home and things are quiet, especially at night, it’s a different story. So basically, it’s just been my observation that location has not been that much of a factor in this attachment situation., At least in the sense that these entities are just as attached to me if I go one place or another. A little bit ago, I was discussing in one of my blog post here how Crystal was making statements about how she was inside of my astral  body or my astral field. It’s just the impression I get, but this may be more the case here. It seems that no matter where I go, Crystal follows, she always seems to be around, inside my immediate vicinity. Now this doesn’t mean that I’m always perceiving her the same, and yes as I mentioned, in certain locations I find it much easier to be distracted from her presence. Yet, I can tell that she is still there.

   However, when it comes to portals, or gateways, or points of entry, then I suppose that’s an entirely different matter. I’ve always felt that these entities are actually around us all the time, and I do believe that they influence many people, perhaps most people at some point in their life, it’s just that most don’t pick up on their presence the way that I do now. So, I’ve always felt that they were here all along it’s just that I tuned my perceptions into them by going off the deep end (so to speak) with doing recording sessions back in 2015. But yes, I’ve always wondered if there was a little more to it than that. Perhaps I did give them access to this world to a larger degree, or perhaps even opened some  kind of dimensional or astral portal. I don’t know, I do not have the answers to these questions. I’m just kicking around some thoughts. If I did open  a portal back at the specific location where I was doing the majority of my recording sessions back in 2015, is it still open.? Is that spare bedroom in my old house still charged or contaminated with some kind of psychic / paranormal energy?  I just don’t know. Anyway, I am going to go finish watching this Chernobyl movie now.